How to get a girlfriend if you have social anxiety ? It’s absolutely terrifying isn’t it? Knowing that you actually have to approach a woman that you think is attractive and you might fall in love with.
I know a lot of you guys out there social anxiety away from any form of communication with a real life lady but let me tell you this, you are going to feel scared and social anxiety to actually talk to a woman because you are scared of rejection and that your introverted ways will definitely leave you stumbling and babbling and possibly looking like a complete idiot in front of her.
But in layman’s terms the only way that you can actually begin to overcome your social anxiety and to genuinely improve how you talk to ladies is to actually go out there and do it.
Now you cannot change this mental shift of believing that you can’t to believing that you can until you actually go out and make that physical change.
So if you are ready for the most dynamic tips on how to get a girlfriend if you have social anxiety then stick around to the end of this post.
How to get a girlfriend if you have social anxiety: 5 Dynamic Tips to help Introverts
1. Practice talking to strangers and giving them compliments
I want to let you into a very personal secret of mine. About six years ago I was so anxious and I was so social anxiety that I could not talk to anyone that I didn’t already know and the people that I did know I couldn’t always look them in the eye when I was talking to them.
I would absolutely hate talking to my friends, family, cashiers and I would never ever answer my phone but the one thing that helped me to handle this mental shift was putting myself out there and talking to people in low risk situations and this is exactly what you need to do my friend.
READ ALSO: Signs she wants to get closer to you
Instead of waiting to try out the new techniques that you learn from these amazing videos of attractive women, practice talking to strangers whenever and wherever you can.
Now you may not realize it but there is so many opportunities that you can do right now to improve the way that you talk to women.
Start small and just wish a cashier a fantastic day as you put the phone down.
You can say; have a great day, nice to chat with you when you go to the shop, make more small talk with the cashier and find a reason to make them smile and remember you aren’t doing this to try to attract them.
You are just simply practicing your talking skills, keep it simple make a comment about how nice that perfume is you could laugh along with them and say well it’s been so busy today I bet you are completely knackered and then at the end of the conversations you can say you know what I wish you a lovely day all the best, see you soon.
Now it may seem pretty small but in the grand scheme of things if you are able to practice talking to anyone that means you are a lot less social anxious to actually talk to the attractive ones.
But i get it, t a lot of people are going to say that it is so much easier to talk to normal people; I just can’t talk to attractive people.
well the reason that you say this is because you don’t feel that you’re on the same level as the attractive lady which leads us into the next tip on how to get a girlfriend if you have social anxiety.
2. Don’t Push for the Date
Do not ever expect to talk to someone and dive in straight away and ask for a date.
This seems to be a common thing that a lot of guys make; they see someone that they really like so they feel that oh no I can’t let her leave my path.
They will go over there and the first point of call is to setup this amazing situation so that they can unleash their can I take you out on a date question.
Now if you dive into a conversation with a lady with the only outcome of going on a date with her let me tell you this, she might not say it but she’s going to pick up on this.
She is going to see that you just literally want a notch in your bedpost as opposed to getting to actually know her but don’t worry we have many posts about how to start conversations with ladies based on value compliments.
For example, find a common interest that will open up that conversation with the lady that you like, you could compliment them on the outfit that they are wearing, the hairstyle, the hair color, something that isn’t too creepy.
Remember you can even ask them what coffee they are drinking because it looks absolutely delicious, very magnificent and you want to try it yourself.
These can be something very small but all you’re doing is putting your foot into the door of that conversation, removing the awkwardness and then you’re chatting to the girl to open up to her so that you both feel comfortable.
So if you approach a lady and the first thing to do in your head is to start a conversation about going on a date and building a relationship, well really you’re setting yourself up to fail.
You have to be willing to take this process step by step, literally approach the lady, start a normal conversation like you would do with anyone else and depending on how that turns out you can decide to take her out on a date or ask for her number.
You have to go in and find out who she is first, instead of you trying to prove that you are amazing, you have to make sure that she’s qualified for you, Is she high value ? Is she kind? Is she considerate ? make it your job to talk to her just like an everyday person and assess whether she is nice enough for you.
If you go in with that mindset you are not going to be scared about attracting and talking to attractive ladies.
3. Hangout with female friends
A lot of guys with social anxiety don’t actually have that many female friends.
So instead you need to bag yourself some female friends that you can hang with, it could be your sister, it could be your mom, could be your work colleagues or even just going out with a group of people and you know that they can bring their girlfriends along.
You are going to feel a lot less threatened if you are already used to hanging out with females, it’s not going to seem as scary plus it’s great homework to actually see how girls react with each other and how they like to be spoken to so that you can pick up some tips yourself but most importantly this has some huge favors if you can hang out with women, it makes you appear a lot more attractive because if a woman can see that you are making another lady laugh she’s going to get the fear of missing out and if in public you can make it very clear without being rude (may I add) that the person that you are with who is your work colleague or your friend can let the lady who is interested let you know that well she’s going to want to actually come over and approach you because she knows that you are single plus she’s already seen how much of a great guy you are to hang out with.
4. Build up your self-esteem
A very common scene that I see when guys with social anxiety go to approach ladies is that they hold such a high value to this attractive woman that they feel they almost downgrade themselves by talking to her.
They give all of this power to the other person and forget that they are just as powerful.
So remember before you attempt to even speak to people that you potentially want to go on a date with, you need to be spending regular time building your own self-esteem and doing lots of things that make you feel good on a daily basis.
Now this is going to be completely different to every single guy, so you need to focus on what it is that gives you confidence, it could be simple something like listening to a podcast in the morning whilst you’re driving to work, starting the day with meditation and writing in a gratitude journal.
You need to do more of this whatever it is that makes you feel good is going to build you up as a person so you need to feel you are powerful instead of being downgraded when you are talking to attractive women.
5. Figure out where its going wrong
But most importantly we need to figure out where it’s all going wrong for you, bud there’s going to be times where you speak to a lady and you try to advance that relationship but then she’s just dead-bolted you, she’s ghosted you, she’s blocked you or she’s just told you the relationship isn’t working and things have fizzled out and at that point you need to figure out what that breaking point is that is stopping you from pushing through and having actual relationships.
It could be that actually when you speak to people on Facebook messenger you come across really confident but when it comes to arranging dates you get so scared that you don’t actually ask, therefore she never realizes you are interested or maybe you feel it’s okay to talk to attractive women , you can build conversations easily but you actually doubt that she would even be interested in you therefore you don’t ramp up that flirting or even get as far as asking for a date you are going to know what it is that’s not working for you and it’s your job to focus on pushing through that barrier.
6. Work out your qualifying list
Now let’s go back to a couple of tips that I previously mentioned on how to get a girlfriend if you have social anxiety and I said that a lot of guys do not qualify the women that they are talking to.
They just go out on a date for the sake of having a date as opposed to building a proper relationship.
So you need to sit down straight after this video and work out what makes the ideal woman for you.
Now I’m not talking about specific things such as she has to love star wars, she has to be a redhead, she has to be five foot four.
READ ALSO: How does an alpha male pursue a woman
I’m talking about the traits and personalities that you would say in good measure is something that you would not ever compromise on.
Now an example could be you only want to date someone that is a vegan, you only want to date someone that is hardworking and has their own business.
Only you know what would make someone go from kind of sub level to being absolutely amazing.
Now this qualifying list is something that you will not ever compromise on.
Obviously you can compromise on hair color, things like that but when it comes to actual niceness and traits, you have to be willing to say no to people that don’t fit that bill.
How to get a girlfriend if you have social anxiety: Conclusion
In this post I have given you six tips on how to get a girlfriend if you have social anxiety.
The first thing I want you to note if you are a guy who feels anxious when it comes to talking to and flirting with girls in real life is that it’s perfectly normal.
You’re not disadvantaged and it’s a common thing amongst many guys.
Now, just like picking up a new skill like riding a car, swimming or cycling, you’ll get better with time and practice.
Let me rephrase that, it doesn’t matter how many blogs posts you read, videos you watch on YouTube or notes you take about conquering your anxiety when it comes to approaching women. You have to constantly put yourself out there and make mistakes, taking notes and learn what works out best for you.
So, that was it on how to get a girlfriend if you have social anxiety, I recommend you check out Stan Lougani’s eBook titled “How to talk to the woman of your dreams”. This eBook will help you overcome social anxiety which happens every time you see a girl you like.
Remember, sharing is caring.